Korea may be hazardous to your health

After publishing my first post, I sent an email with the link to members of my family. Everyone replied right away, many via the site’s comment section. Everyone, that is, except my Aunt Karla. More than a week later she finally responded with an email. Turns out she read Jen’s first two posts as well as mine. I felt compelled to share this email – for an off-the-top-of-her-head rant, it’s well written, though I’m not sure where the sarcasm ends. Apologies if I take parts of it too seriously.

Okay–whatever you say!!!  I only envy one thing about this whole crazy idea.  Your willingness to be open to adventure.  Wish sometimes I had taken more risks in life instead of always playing it safe. I mean look at all the things I could’ve done in life that i didn’t because it might cause cancer.  You know like eat the red m&m’s.  Red food dye might be linked to cancer. I could’ve worn flame retardant pajamas but the material used is also linked to cancer. I could’ve been a hot babe with a year round tan if I had only visited a tanning salon. But the radiation from the light bulbs also can cause cancer.
(But funny how medical radiation therapy eliminates it)  Messed up!!  Does anybody really know?

I’m honored to be called “adventurous,” but moving to Korea is really a rational decision as much as it is romantic: If there’s nothing I can do to avoid cancer, I might as well live someplace with a decent health care system.

Now I’m curious, though – did she read somewhere that living in Korea increases one’s risk of developing cancer? It’s probably all the electromagnetic radiation from their fancy cell phones and incredibly high density of Wifi hotspots.  Or maybe Koreans are genetically predisposed to prefer red M&Ms.

Anyway you go ahead and be adventurous!!  Just don’t let me see your picture or video on CNN with you sitting on a dirt floor; ankles locked in chains, looking up with sad eyes blinking a message to us here in the US to help you. Terrorists are everywhere!!!  I will admitt (sic).  I am terrified of them. Do they cause cancer?  Go ahead and laugh.  What your friend told you about the cuisine is also true and you still want to go!!!  By the way; raw eggs also cause cancer.

I’m not sure why my aunt would be “terrified” of terrorism. She doesn’t spend a significant amount of time riding trains or buses, nor does she live in a high-density neighborhood. Neither do I. Maybe I should be concerned, though. Once we move there, I’ll have to use public transport and will likely be living in a major city.

Then again, terrorists are everywhere. Here in the United States, dudes tote guns to political events. At least if I get kidnapped by terrorists in Korea, I’ll get to be on CNN. And unlike those balloon people, the public will be sympathetic to me.

I will be thinking about your travels and wishing the best for you. Not really. I’ll be wondering why two college educated people couldn’t find a job in the US.

To be honest, I know I could find a job here in the US if I tried harder. But why would I want to work hard to find a job here, where I can expect a measly two weeks of paid vacation per year?

-Daniel Daugherty


1 Comment

Filed under Encouraging Words, Uncategorized

One response to “Korea may be hazardous to your health

  1. Marie

    What the f? Hey I’m college educated and I can’t find a decent job to save my life. Still though, I wanted to do the Korea thing even before I realized I sucked at job hunting.

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